The Uncommon Fire

"So Moses thought, 'I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.' " Exodus 3:3


Ah, the story of the burning bush. Fires were not uncommon during biblical times. The fire itself was not a strange sight to Moses. It was the fact that the bush wasn't burning up. Can you imagine what that may have looked like? Can you imagine driving past a house fully in tact with every inch of the house engulfed with flames? My guess is that if I saw that house I would stop, like Moses, and study the strange sight. 


As we read more of this story, we see Moses respond as he learns that God is the fire that doesn't burn up the bush. Lets think about a common fire. These are the types of fires that illuminate forests and leave behind a string of smoke as it floats off the remnants of the beauty that used to stand there. These are the types of fires that have the ability to transform a green and vibrant tree into a pile of blackness, in a matter of seconds. These are the types of fires that remind those watching of the power of their deep red and orange flames. 

There are also fires that burn us up from the inside out. Fires like lust, rage, and greed; these passions can entirely consume us and destroy the people that we used to be as well as the goals and hopes we used to have. Similar to physical fires, destruction can take place in the blink of an eye. "God is the only fire that can consume an object without completely destroying it." I read that quote a couple of weeks ago and it had my mind reeling in so many different directions as I thought about the fire of God compared to the fire of man. Lust enters with a quick glance. Suddenly, thoughts start to change and boundaries begin to shift. Eventually, as you keep fueling this fire, ultimate destruction happens. This destruction could mean the end of a marriage, wounds from abuse, or the choice of abortion. A fire that lasts seconds means years of rebuilding and counseling.

In contrast, the fire of God completely covers but leaves the person in tact. How beautiful! All of those passions like lust and rage feed off of us. Have you ever just been tired of being angry or tired of trying to present yourself in a certain way? It can be the most draining experience! It is a fire that depletes us of strength and fight. God; however, is the fire that replenishes us! The fire that makes the ground we stand on solid! The fire that lifts us up when someone knocks us down. Instead of being drained in his presence, I find myself craving time with him when I feel drained. I go to him and he fills me up. I go to rage and it rips me apart. This teaches something that is really important. God is the fire that doesn't demand something of us. In fact, he lavishes promise after promise upon us! If I choose to not be angry then I prevent myself from being given over to the passion of rage. As difficult and as tempting as life can be we still have the ability to make a choice. We have the ability to surround ourselves in the fire of God. It is a fire that will completely cover you, will never destroy you, and will never begin to feed off of you. Another beautiful thing about the fire of God is that nothing can come close to it! Remember as Moses got closer to the bush, the Lord told him to not come any closer because he was on holy ground. If we find ourselves resting in the presence of God then those passions like lust, greed, or rage cannot get close to you. Temptations will come and mistakes will happen but every time we find ourselves abandoned and left in the rubble of a fire that used us, we will always have the option of turning to God so that he can start to put the pieces back together. That is a fire and strange sight that we can find ourselves studying and observing for the rest of our lives!

An Anxious Heart Revised

If only I could see where God would lead me in the six months following my last blog post. Reading it over again I see God at work all through this past December preparing my heart for the things to come. I was forced to look over my words which, at the time, were written with full belief and conviction. Reading over them a second time six months later it is as if I am reading the words of someone else. The past several months have been filled with great love, revelation, and excitement most of which have come out of great panic, stress, and worry. At age ten I experienced my first panic attack. I would find myself nearly a decade later experiencing them again during my freshman year of college.
I know what it means to love God with all of your strength. For me, it has meant loving God when my world is falling apart and choosing to see joy in him when my eyes sting from tears from the day before. There is one specific night that I call to my mind when I see how sometimes it takes great strength to love. A few months ago at the height of my anxiety I found myself suddenly awake in the middle of the night with panic. The days before were filled with stress and worry. I ran out of my dorm to the end of my hall where I threw up in the bathroom for what felt like forever. It was a combination of fear and exhaustion. All the while, Satan is pouring lies upon lies on me while I try to cling to the promises of God. Waking up the next morning preparing for my 8am class was a day I had to choose to love God with all my strength. It took everything inside of me to say yes to the call of God to live that day with purpose and joy. I must admit; however, there were days I said no. Sometimes we must choose God even when we don't feel him. The beauty of choosing when we don't feel is that his faithfulness to us always ignites a believing heart in us once again.
There have been many exciting things that God is revealing to my heart and six months worth of highs and lows that I wish to write about. I felt that it was important to re-visit the topic of anxiety and share more of my freedom in this area as well as sharing more of my struggle.
After the height of panic attacks that woke me up from sleep there was a still. A stillness that I praised the Lord for. It was a season of mending and growing. I've finished my first year of college and now I am home for a break I longed for all second semester. The still ended a week or so again when I had another panic attack. Unexpected as I suppose they all are but this one was different. I felt this darkness around me and I just heard Satan telling me lie after lie. Telling me that God wouldn't use my life or my story. Telling me that I couldn't even be sure of my salvation and that I had lied about everything I'd been freed from. Now, you must understand the irony of this lie. I attend a Bible school where I spent the last year of my life learning verse and verse and hearing dozens of stories of people who found assurance of their security in Christ. I knew the verses and I hadn't ever struggled in this specific way before. It was completely out of no where and somehow all of those verses slipped my mind. The night ended in a rattled heart and mind and a spirit that seemed to lack the strength it once had. Two nights later I was reading in Job and God renewed my strength again. Job 1: 12 says "The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he [Job] has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” Suddenly, I felt the Lord speaking to me very personally. He was reminding me how little Satan's power is. I am safely resting in the presence of the Lord and I am; therefore, untouchable by Satan. Satan may hold the small things that I have but over me personally he holds no control. His power is already lost. I had this visual and hope in the fact that Job was being held by the creator even when he lost his servants, his property, and his family. He felt the world crumbling around him but he was held still and safely by the hand of the Lord. The same is true for all of God's children. Now when that darkness enters or I am hit with a lie I hear the voice of the Lord saying, "on the women herself you do not lay a finger." 
My hope and prayer is that this verse strikes you in a different way today. Especially if fear or anxiety is your struggle as well. This is an area that God is still working to heal me in. He is so patient and gentle. My addition onto my last post would be to love God even if it means loving him with all your strength. Once you're depleted something beautiful happens. The Lord takes over and we stand victorious because of his power. Additionally, sometimes we are taken to those depleted states because once we are victorious we can't help but give all of the praise and glory to him. Anxiety was definitely a struggle for me when I wrote my last post but it had never overcome me like it has before. Now, through the power of Christ I can stand confident in standing by my words written six months ago. God never changed from that post until this one but, oh my goodness, has my view of him!