Yes, you may call me nostalgic.

A few weeks ago I ventured into my room for a seriously late spring cleaning. I decided I was finally going to go through all of my “stuff” that was no longer vital to my survival that I keep. It was not until I actually went to get rid of everything that I realized exactly how nostalgic I am as a person. I have a drawer in my room filled will napkins from Disney restaurants, receipts from tourist stores in other parts of the country, business cards from local professionals I spoke to once, and letters with pictures of cute children that I don’t have a clue how I’m related to. I am an organized person; however, I have become a genius at neatly arranging a lot of junk that I seem to cling to. Somehow I feel that the multi-billion dollar Disney industry will suffer if I don’t keep all of their restaurant napkins. I think that the local professionals will regret giving me their business card if I throw it away. I especially have a hard time throwing away a picture of a child that someone obviously loved enough to send to my family. I lock text messages that make me smile. I tape notes and pictures on every inch of my wall. I keep small pieces of treasure that amount to absolutely nothing. I am nostalgic.
    I’ve recently realized that these nostalgic tendencies not only affect the cleanliness of my room but the freeness of my heart (corny, I know.) I cling to past hurts and experiences thinking that it is best for me to protect myself from future hurt. If I am being honest with all of you holding onto these experiences is as if I’m saying “God, I love you BUT I’m not sure you can handle this better than I can. I don’t think I will give these parts of my life to you because I don’t believe that I can absolutely trust you in every situation.” While I will probably always be a nostalgic person holding onto notes, posters, and magazine cutouts, I refuse to be the person that desperately holds onto the past. I am in absolute awe in all of the healing my savior has done in my life. I had to let go of those things in order to achieve liberty in Him. I think it is a large part of our natural defense mechanism to hang onto things of the past to protect us from those things in the future, but I wonder if in doing so we miss out on something so much greater that God has for us. God is in the business of redeeming every part of your life and binding up your heart from past hurts. It is actually one of His jobs! (Isaiah 61:1) I want to encourage all of you to join me in surrendering every part of your life to Him. Maybe it is something so big you are going to have to surrender five times every hour. Maybe it is something you’ve always felt like you have dealt with but realize you still hold onto. Maybe you know someone struggling with this that you could encourage. “Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.” Psalm 90:10 (NLT) Soon the troubles that you cling to will disappear and you will be free to fly away. This starts by acknowledging that God is healer and deserves every part of your life. Until the day we fly away I ask that you would continually be a servant after God’s own heart, surrendering everything, and living every day under the direct influence of the Holy Spirit.

Scared to Stillness

     Let me start by saying that I am truly blessed with an incredible family. Unfortunately, we all find far too much joy in trying to scare the life out of each other. I can remember a time when my aunt Sandy got an ingenious idea for a way to scare me and my cousin, Star, while we were having a scary movie marathon. Star and I were innocently sitting on the couch watching our third or fourth scary movie at the darkest hours of the night, when my aunt comes in all bright eyed with excitement announcing that she was going to bed and loved us very much. (yes, her excitement to tell us she was going to sleep should have been clue number one; however, it remained undetected) She then made a point to announce to us that she was locking the door so that no unwanted visitor could come in. (Yes, her attention to this very important detail, as you will find later in the story, should have been clue number two; however, it remained undetected as well) About fifteen minutes into our movie we hear the door creak open. (You may have guessed that my aunt is the one slowly pushing the door open in attempt to make our hearts stop beating temporarily) Star and I look at each other in deep fear, looked at the door in greater fear, and then looked back at each other; but we quickly brushed it off, reassuring each other that it was all in our heads and that no unwanted visitor was really making his way in. (Hang in there readers, I assure you this has a point) We ignored the noise and continued watching our movie when the door opened even further and we could no longer ignore the fact that something or someone was making their way into the house. Despite the fact that Star and I both knew something was undoubtably happening we just stared at the door. Now, I’ve always had the utmost confidence in my ability to run, hide, or defend myself in the event that something would happen; however, when something actually was happening I just sat there and watched. I can only imagine how disappointed my aunt must have been that our reaction was so uneventful. She had developed this awesome plan to scare us and all we did was stare with mouths open and wide-eyes waiting patiently for our impending doom.

    You know, I think that maybe our relationships with God are a lot like this story. I believe that God is constantly communicating with you and trying to reach out to you. I also believe that, just like star and I brushed off my aunts entrance into the house, a lot of us just brush off what God is telling us to do by saying “its only in our heads” or “thats not really what He is calling me to do.” Meanwhile, God continues to reach out just as my aunt continued to push the door open. He is desperately waiting to hear from you like my aunt was desperately waiting for a reaction out of us! I don’t know about you but I would hate to think I lived my whole life staring God directly in the face doing absolutely nothing while he was telling me, “React! Emily! Do....something!!!” Just like my aunt went out of her way to develop this plan to scare us, God is going out of his way to develop a plan to use you. Would you make a promise to God that you will react when he says move? Would you live your life freely for Him while actively listening to what He is telling you to do? Would you believe in His voice and see his immeasurably awesome promise behind every challenge? Would you cry out like Samuel, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”? I pray that you will. Don’t stare with mouths open and wide eyes as God is telling you to do something big! He obviously thinks you are so much more than capable to be used by Him. Don’t miss out. Listen. Respond. Do....something!